Analysis: The Cherry Tree Carol

At our winter concert, our school's orchestra performed a piece with a pretty melody that I'd never heard before, "The Cherry Tree Carol." A few days later, I heard the song with its words, and now I don't think can ever hear it again. I will give commentary on each verse.

When Joseph was an old man, an old man was he

He married virgin Mary, the queen of Galilee

He married virgin Mary, the queen of Galilee

(News to me that Joseph was a cradle robber and Mary was royalty, but then again, I don't read the bible too often. It was only recently that I found out that Joseph was a decendent of Abraham, too.)

And one day as they went walking, all in the garden green

There were berries and cherries as thick as may be seen

There were berries and cherries as thick as may be seen

(Jesus was totally born in December. Right.)

Then Mary said to Joseph, so meek and so mild

Joseph, gather me some cherries for I am with child

Joseph, gather me some cherries for I am with child

(Pregnancy cravings, totally understandable.)

The Joseph flew in anger, in anger flew he

Let the father of the baby gather cherries for thee

Let the father of the baby gather cherries for thee

(Bitch, I ain't yo baby's daddy!)

Then up spoke baby Jesus, from out Mary's womb

Bow down ye tallest tree that my mother might have some

Bow down ye tallest tree that my mother might have some

(Let's summarize that one: The fetus was talking. Holy crap.)

So bent down the tallest tree to touch Mary's hand

Said she, oh look now Joseph, I have cherries at command

Said she, oh look now Joseph, I have cherries at command

(Talking fetus Jesus uses telekinesis in order for him and Mary to have uber pwnage over Joseph.)

The End.