More Reasons Why No Child Left Behind Needs an Overhaul

My school failed to make it's AYP, or Adequate Yearly Progress, last year. It was the first time it did so, and was the only school in the district to do so. Needless to say, the administration is freaking out. The previous school I taught in has failed the last six years in a row, and they didn't freak out as much as my current school is.

You see, there's a certain way you have to qualify to be a "passing" school. Not only do a certain percentage of students have to pass the test, the same percentage of every subgroup has to pass the test. (This is to make sure that it's not just the privileged white kids passing.) Subgroups are determined by things like race, economic status, and if you're proficient in English. You have to have at least 30 kids categorized in one subgroup to have it count towards making your AYP.

My school only qualifies for these subgroups: White, female, male, non-economically disadvantaged, and special education. Guess which subgroup didn't pass. Guess which was the only reason the school failed.

A couple of months ago we had a faculty meeting with the assistant superintendent to try to figure out ways to get the special ed students to pass the test this year. Yes, the same percentage of them have to pass, but just like giving a English-as-a-second-language kid a dictionary, special ed kids will have modifiers, such as extra time or calculators. I can't even remember what really went on in the meeting, as I don't teach a subject that is directly related to the tests. (Earlier that very day I'd tried to used math to explain dotted quarter notes and the 8th grade students in the room collectively had a heart attack.)

Here's what's been happening lately.

All 7th grade students who failed the test last year are now getting pulled out of my class (or whichever cycle they're in) for test prep. If they failed one subject (language arts or math), it's one day a week. If they failed both, it's twice a week. This is only being done to 7th grade special ed students who failed. No 5th, 6th or 8th graders. No regular ed 7th graders who failed. This started at the beginning of January and will continue until test day, at the end of April. Two entire cycles will have passed by then. Out of five. Needless to say, many parents are furious that their child is being forced out of classes like music or art for this, and are pulling their kids out of the program.

Today, I found out that some eighth graders are getting pulled out of their core classes for testing. The testing is to evaluate if they should still be classified as special ed students or not. Believe me, these kids should stay classified, but I think they're trying to get the numbers down to below 30, so the subgroup won't count. This is an odd idea, as we have at least twice that many special ed kids in the school.

The worst part is, I still don't think a high enough percentage of special ed kids will pass the test this year.

No Child Left Behind right now only cares about the results. It just doesn't put any accountability on how to get them.

Just so you know...babies are like sandwiches.

My brother, a nursing student, has started to do clinical work this year. Last semester, he did mainly general health courses (learning how to give a physical and whatnot), and this semester deals with more specifics, such as mental health, pediatrics, and pregnancy/childbirth. In the latter class, they recently learned how to bathe and swaddle a newborn.

Keep in mind, before entering the medical field, my brother's only work experience had been working the counter at Dunkin' Donuts. So upon observing how to fold a blanket around a baby, and hearing the professor comment that "it's almost like wrapping a sandwich," he was able to reply, "it's exactly like wrapping a sandwich."

Upon recounting this story to me (and after I stopped laughing), he sighed, hung his head, and remarked, "I'm going to break a baby, I just know it."

I need to stop listening to the Broadway channel on my satellite radio.

Just when it finally leaves my head, they'll play "The Surrey with the Fringe on Top" again and the evil cycle will begin anew.

More student quotables

A new cycle of general music classes started this week. To have the kids (and me) find out about their musical opinions and tastes, I have them do "musical conversations." I give them each a card with a question on it and they have to find the answer to it from several other people in class. These questions range from "What's your favorite radio station?" to "What kind of technology do you think will replace the iPod?"

One of the questions was "Do you play an instrument? If you don't, what would you like to learn to play?" One of the students' responses came from a classmate whom I knew had band lessons on Wednesdays, saxophone day. So what was written on the paper?

"He plays the tender sexaphone."

tee hee.